Home based professionals, solopreneurs and small business owners do a unique juggling act. There's nothing like commuting to the next room for a job whose dress code that includes pajamas and getting to kids' concerts and games. But the flexibility of working from home has pros and cons. The front is an incredible blessing to everyone in the family but the back can lead to burnout unlike any other.
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As a mother with a home-based international coaching/consulting practice, I coach successful professionals in the same way that Olympic coaches work with athletes. My clients run the gamut from United Nations members, corporate executives to solopreneurs in the US, UK and Canada. Many are parents either based at home or who have created a work life that highly values family time. They've taught me 5 important things about successfully working from home.
1. Expectations: Discipline is necessary to make it from home but unrealistic standards cause stress. Stay at home moms and dads who aren't running businesses can't be the standard for those who are. Likewise, people who are on someone else's payroll can't dictate work parameters. Too often stay at home workers and the people around them believe they should produce full time homemaker results while producing more than full time work results. People are doing amazing things from dining room tables but unrealistic expectations are a set-up for personal and social angst.
2. Boundaries: While home-based businesses break the confines of the standard workweek, they also require constant boundary setting. Many at home workers just don't set clear enough ground rules like hours of operation, restrictions on interruptions, clarity on when it's ok and when it's not to throw in laundry, start dinner, do a favor for a friend...
The most successful at home workers allow their inner “diva” to prevail. Family and friends often just don't get it about being self-employed so boundary crossings are an occupational hazard. Women are especially reluctant to say, "even though I'm technically home, I'm not available."
Being able to set clear boundaries requires getting enough down and alone time – a 'catch-22' because it takes serious boundary setting to create that quality of time. Recharging batteries isn't a luxury. Too few home-based professionals account for cabin fever and the value of fresh air, mental stimulation, and new faces. It's easy not to know where your boundaries are if you never get to see them from the outside.
3. Scheduling: Especially when kids and/or businesses are young, it's not only tempting but critical to break up the work day - and probably to work extraordinarily late or early hours. Very few jobs in the world require such extreme hat flipping, and very few workplaces entail the range of agendas and unique surprises that work-at-home parents manage.
As the kids and/or the business hit subsequent developmental stages, new rhythms have to be established — a task compounded by the number of people in the family. Families and businesses have long range and day-to-day rhythms. It's important to create leeway in the home-based schedule to account for the inevitable chaos between the times when work and family are in sync with one another. The solopreneur walks a delicate balance between honoring the family rhythm and honoring the rhythm of the diva s/he needs to be to realize professional and personal potential.
Since the office is always there, sometimes stay-at-home workers continually work when they know deep inside that it's time to play with their children or go on a date with their spouse, which leads to all kinds of interpersonal stresses. It helps to stick with set hours unless certain pre-established criteria kick in, like a large order or a significant deadline or to schedule extra playtime. Publishing a schedule/contract (often done on the refrigerator) and regular meetings with a peer mentor or coach can make all the difference for striking a satisfying balance of priorities.
4. Delegation: One of the biggest causes for home-based burnout is the lack of delegation. Home-based working moms are the quintessential superwoman archetypes who are expected to do it all for everyone at all times.
In early years before profits stabilize, most business owners are reluctant to hire enough help to take earnings to the next level. Work at home parents don't hire home and/or business help soon enough and when they do, they spend far too much time justifying themselves for getting it. Too little help means not only that the business limps but family needs go unmet. And don't forget, child labor has a very different meaning in the home-based business household! Let your kids and spouse see how much they matter - put them on the team. Twenty years of experience tells me that, despite the resistance, you'll all be glad you did.
5. Support: It can be a tough call between holding firm on your office hours and yielding to a carpool need. On the one hand, you chose your work setup to allow you to say yes to family, but on the other, you have to continually muster what it takes to stand firm for your work. Professional support is the best way to help yourself discern where the lines are and how to negotiate them so everybody wins.
Even if you barter with a colleague for a weekly mutual support call, it's well worth the time investment because people who coach are better able to frame their unique circumstances so they can really enjoy the fruits of their labors. Home-based professionals/entrepreneurs who use coaches have a healthier grasp on work/life balance. They not only negotiate distractions far more effectively, they work forward so they have a competitive edge. Clients who coach develop their visions into reality faster and with more stability than those who don't. MasterMind group members say the intensive support helps anchor their work and personal stakes and allows them keep their bearings. MasterMind members report a sense of equanimity so that all the juggling isn't unsettling.
To prevent or remedy burnout: Rather than focus on failed expectations, weak boundaries, overwhelming hours, the never ending to-do list, etc., take an asset inventory. Take time to list what you've accomplished; what assets you bring in terms of talent, commitment, and resources; and helpful family, friends and associates. List what shows up when you do, even on a bad day. That's your real business and personal treasury and it's easily several hundred items long!
Also, every time you feel guilty about not being at work or not being with family, take a moment to appreciate what's going on and why. No matter how small, find something good about the moment and then expand on that thought, even if you have to start with being thankful for your chair. If you more naturally find gratitude for the big stuff, break it down to articulate just how good it all is. Gratitude will make you more effective in the moment and better prepared for what's next. The act of gratitude has a neuro- and bio-chemical profile that can actually repair burnout symptoms and trigger insight.
It is truly amazing what can be accomplished in shorts and flip-flops, on patios, on the bleachers, and even in beds. At-home business owners and professionals are unsung heroes who are creating new social mores, living strong family values, and accomplishing the American dream.
About the Author
Dr. Joni Carley has an international coaching practice, Wisdom at Work, serving successful leaders, professionals and entrepreneurs much like an Olympic coach serves successful athletes. Audiences say that her talks and workshops are unique in depth and breadth. With a world of experience ranging from the jungle to the boardroom, and from the United Nations to college campuses, she addresses core issues for sustainable impact. For more information and articles on leadership: www.jonicarley.com 610-566-9927; joni@wisdomatwork.biz
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